An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.

An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"

Forty years ago in 1981, there was a celebrity gala for President Ronald Reagan at Fords Theatre. Who brought down the house was Rodney Dangerfield, whose 10-jokes-a-minute – good clean fun, no bad words whatever – brought tears of laughter to the entire audience.

“My wife's cooking is so bad, the flies got together in the back yard and fixed the screen door.”

“I tell ya, I don’t get no respect. Last week my house was on fire, my wife told the kids ‘Be quiet, you’ll wake up daddy’.”

Enjoy!

Rapper Tom McDonald’s Fake Woke was released last Friday (1/29), and the very next day it shot to #1 on the All-Genre US iTunes Song Sales Chart.

As of today (2/05), it has over 4 million views – this is influencing young people in the many millions.  Most TTPers are not into rap, true, but this is a cultural phenomenon worth watching – especially when you read the lyrics below.  There is definitely hope for Young America.

At her White House press briefing today (11/20), it took Kayleigh McEnany just five words to obliterate the howling mob of DemFascist propagandists pretending to be “reporters.”  Enjoy:

Babylon Bee reporting from Dallas TX -- Sources close to Winston Davis say he is baffled as his girlfriend Wendy Fitzpatrick keeps referring to herself as “Wife-Elect” at any and every public gathering with close family and friends.

This awkward situation is happening to Winston despite no clear moment in time in which it ever entered his mind that Wendy was “the one” or that he was even getting close to asking her The Question to make such an interim title even remotely appropriate.

Wendy had even started delegating bridesmaids to begin getting fitted for dresses and unironically telling members of her family that she was setting up an “Office of the Wife-Elect.”

All of Winston’s friends report being confident he will figure out the most effective escape hatch from his predicament.

The giant billboard atop the Whiskey a Go Go nightclub on Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood, used to advertise the DC Comics television show Swamp Thing, was altered by a conservative group of street artists known as "The Faction" before dawn Thursday morning (10/15).  They put Biden’s face on top of the monster, and the words “Joe Biden is” above, and “Hide your kids, hide your wife,” below DC Swamp Thing.  Classic!!

A woman driver infected with TDS got so outraged a Trump MAGA rally on a street corner, she not only flipped them off, but leaned out her window for a double flip-off while screaming obscenities at them. In so doing, she took her foot off the brake, thus crashing into the car in front of her.

Not her lucky day, a police car was behind her. To the hoots and laughter of the MAGA folk, two policemen came to ticket her. Instant karma!

Both men are the same age, 74 years old

Wednesday night (7/22) on the Communist News Network, Don Lemon – “The dumbest man on television” as accurately described by POTUS – and Chris Cuomo – known to all as “Fredo,” the dumb brother in The Godfather – tried to mock the President over an acuity test.

They ended up having a massive Acuity Fail, not being able to tell the difference between a rhino, a hippo, and an elephant.  Now that’s dumb!  Enjoy…