Chapter Nineteen: THE MARRIAGE OF TECULEHUATZIN
The Jade Steps Chapter Nineteen: The Marriage of Teculehuatzin For more than two weeks, every day in Tlaxcala seemed more enjoyable to the Spaniards than the previous. The friendship shown to them by the Tlaxcalans was overwhelming. Children were constantly giving them flowers. Everywhere they went in the city, they would be invited into homes to share a meal. Older women, Señoras, were always bringing them food in their quarters, and there seemed to be a never-ending number of young ladies, Señoritas, desiring to share their quarters with them. One reason for such an abundance of hospitality was the Spaniards’ strict obedience to Cortez’s stern command to take nothing – nothing – from the Tlaxcalans except what was given to them. They vividly remembered when Cortez caught a soldier named Mora stealing a turkey from a village on the way to Tlaxcala and ordered him hung. Mora would have died had not Pedro de Alvarado cut the rope with his sword at the last moment. While the men were enjoying themselves, Cortez spent as much time as possible with King Xicotencatl and Chief Maxixcatzin teaching them about Christianity.
WHO’S AN IRAQI?
First, a news bulletin:According to Iranians I trust, Osama bin Laden gave the world the most marvelous Christmas present he could possibly give by departing from it in mid-December. The Al Qaeda leader died of kidney failure and was buried in Iran, where he had spent most of his time since the destruction of Al Qaeda in Afghanistan. The Iranians who reported this note that this year's message in conjunction with the Moslem Haj came from his number two, Ayman al-Zawahiri, for the first time.Now on to the subject at hand.Of all the confusions surrounding the war in Iraq, perhaps none has clouded so many minds as the phony question, "Are we fighting domestic insurgents or foreign terrorists?" The people who purport to answer this question with "data," should look again at the demographics of Iraq, Syria, and Iran, and they can start by asking themselves, "Who's an Iraqi"?That question is surprisingly difficult to answer...
HOW STUPID IS PUTIN?
Ever since I beat Vladimir Putin in an arm-wrestling match (yes, it’s a true story, told in Arm Wrestling With Russia), I haven’t had a high opinion of him. He was an officer in the KGB, and bemoaned that the collapse of the Soviet Union was “the greatest catastrophe of the 20th century” (no, Pootie-Poot, the existence of the USSR was the century’s greatest calamity.) But not until now has it become fully apparent how stupid he is. As we saw last week in The Next War In Europe, Pootie tried to screw Ukraine for bolting from his imperial clutches in the Orange Revolution. I predicted this would fail if Ukrainian President Viktor Yushchenko stood up to him and called his bluff. Sure enough, once Viktor did so, and showed the Euroweenies what it looks like to be a mensch with a backbone, Europe exploded in anger against Putin. Big mistake, Pootie.
DID CASTRO KILL KENNEDY?
In a documentary broadcast in Berlin Friday, German filmmaker Wilfried Huismann added a new twist to an old controversy. In Dallas on Nov. 22nd, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald, who himself was killed days later by small time mafioso Jack Ruby. The following September, a commission chaired by then Chief Justice Earl Warren concluded Oswald had acted on his own. This finding was unsatisfying to millions of Americans, who didn't want to believe that so beloved a president could have his life snuffed out just because, the Warren Commission surmised, a fruitcake loser wanted some attention. There had to be more significance to the act. There had to be a deeper, darker conspiracy.
WHY SHOULD ANYONE BELIEVE ANYTHING THE CIA HAS TO SAY ABOUT IRAN?
Like everyone else in Washington, I’ve been reading excerpts from James Risen’s new book, the one that "exposes" the "crimes" of the Bush administration with regard to the war on terrorism. The most recent excerpt deals with the CIA’s activities vis-à-vis Iran, and Risen says some very shocking things, things which a serious city would find far more troublesome than the legalities about NSA’s intercepts of conversations involving terrorists. Most shocking of all is that Risen doesn’t even notice the truly horrible aspects of his own story. He doesn’t have the wit or the energy to think half a step beyond the tale he’s been told.
SURPRISE!
On the eve of my 60th birthday two years ago, Congressman Dana Rohrabacher called me up and suggested we have dinner at his favorite pizza parlor on Capitol Hill. On our way, he said, he had to drop something off for a colleague at a restaurant called Signatures. There’s a private dining room at Signatures, and when we walked into it, a group of people jumped up and yelled, “Surprise!” I had been pleasantly set up. Many of my dearest friends in Washington were there, such as Congressmen Chris Cox (now SEC Chairman) and Ed Royce, and the owner of Signatures who had arranged my Surprise Party – Jack Abramoff. There was no business or politics or “lobbying” discussed – just friends reminiscing and telling stories, mostly of the Reagan days. Since I was the guest of honor, everyone had to laugh at my jokes. We all had a great time. Since it’s times like this that I think of when I see Jack Abramoff portrayed in the media as an arch-villain out of a comic book, you can imagine how saddening all of this is to me.
MOONBAT DEMOCRATS
Rep. John Murtha probably wasn't on President Bush's Christmas card list, but Democratic political analyst Charles Cook thinks he should have been. Mr. Cook noted in the president's popularity started to rebound almost immediately after the Pennsylvania Democrat made a speech urging immediate withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq. While a majority of Americans now think it was a mistake to have gone into Iraq in the first place, a larger majority thinks it would be a bigger mistake to cut and run. Rep. Murtha took the spotlight off the president and focused it on the Democrats, who have no "plan" for Iraq other than preemptive surrender. He focused it further this week by making the extraordinary public statement that if he were a young man now, he would not join the military – a statement guaranteed to further to diminish Democrats’ popularity.
CREATE AN INDESTRUCTIBLE SHARED PC
Need to put a PC in a public place? A free Microsoft tool makes it easy to lock down. Schools, libraries, and other organizations often want to make computers available in public places. These can become tempting targets for hackers. Even well-intentioned users can wreak havoc by deleting important files or accidentally installing malware. Perhaps your child has a party and doesn’t want you around. You and your wife retreat into another room, or perhaps to a neighbor’s home. But your and your children’s computers are around. They’ll surf, play games, and who knows what else. These can become tempting targets for hackers. Even well-intentioned users can wreak havoc by deleting important files or accidentally installing malware. Here’s how to prevent all that.
CHINESE ISRAELIS
In addition to two religious nutcases – senile Pat Robertson and terrorist Ahmadinejad – there are large numbers of ordinary Israelis who are pleased about Ariel Sharon’s incapacitating stroke. Robertson announced that Sharon’s stroke was “God’s punishment” for withdrawing from Gaza, while Iran’s Ahmadinejad announced he was “praying to Allah” for Sharon’s death. While most all Israeli citizens aren’t this crazy or ghoulish, a lot of them think that Sharon’s passing will be, in the words of one Israeli friend of mine, “better for the future of Israel.” Let’s call these folks Chinese Israelis. The Chinese have an ancient proverb: Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. The reality is that Sharon’s passing is a disaster for the state of Israel.
GETTING SERIOUS ON IMMIGRATION ENFORCEMENT
Just before Congress adjourned for Christmas break, the House voted to pass the Border Protection, Antiterrorism, and Illegal Immigration Control Act of 2005 (HR 4437) by a vote of 239 to 182. Introduced by James Sensenbrenner (R-WI), I am proud to be one of its co-sponsors. Pro-illegal immigration forces are outraged. The Wall Street Journal, for example, in an editorial on December 29, is particularly incensed that the bill makes being in America illegally a crime. How unfair that something illegal should be a crime! Now it is the Senate’s turn to vote on its version of HR 4437. We in the House hope that our Senatorial colleagues will have the courage to withstand the deluge of demagoguery coming their way, and support our efforts to preserve our national borders and economy.