Why the Clinton White House Went After Microsoft
Early last October, a senior White House henchman, let’s call him Richard Head, paid Janet Reno a visit. The conversation went something like this.
Head: Ms. Reno, the president is very concerned that you do the right thing regarding criminal investigations of his administration.
Reno: That’s reassuring, Richard — may I call you Dick?
Head: Yes — so we at the White House would like you to prosecute Bill.
Reno (spilling her coffee): Prosecute the president? But I thought no matter how massive the evidence against him, I was to stonewall…
Head: No, Ms. Reno, that’s the wrong Bill — we mean Bill Gates. Say, that coffee smells good. What’s in it?
Reno: It’s half Starbucks, half Porfidio tequila. Why Gates? And what on earth for?
Head: I don’t know what for — make it up. That’s your job. But Gates should be obvious. As the world’s richest man, a DOJ prosecution will focus envy at him and get people’s attention redirected away from the president. The media will talk about what you’re doing — going after Microsoft — not about what you’re not doing — going after us.
Reno: Brilliant. They don’t call our boss Slick for nothing. I need another coffee — (pressing her intercom) Bull, could you get me my usual? (A hefty woman enters, bearing a large mug) Mr. Head, may I introduce my very personal assistant, Bulleta van Dyke?
Head: My, uh, pleasure, Miss Dyke. Actually, Ms. Reno, the president is fully briefed on the nature of your beverages and friendships, and makes sure the media behaves with regard to reporting on them. So I can inform the president of your cooperation?
Reno: As always. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?
There you have it, folks. Willie plays big leagues hardball. Recall the monumental pressure on Reno to issue major indictments or appoint special prosecutors just a little while ago? With the Microsoft anti-trust action, that’s gone now. And look at how just about everybody has been taken in by it, with much of the Internet community ranting against Gates. This is clear evidence of Clinton’s evil political genius. Knowing just when to infect Americans with the plague of the century in order to save himself.
The Black Plague of the 20th Century is the social disease of Envy. A book published this year in France, The Black Book of Communism, is outraging and startling intellectuals by comparing Communism to Naziism. But the connection should be obvious: both are pathologies of envy. Nazis preach race-hatred toward “rich exploitative Jews.” Communists preach class-hatred toward “rich exploitative bourgeois.”
Envy is also the motivating pathology behind Islamic fundamentalism: envy of the West causes some Moslems to go criminally insane.
Envy-mongering has always been the path to power of the Left, and the Democratic Party in the US. Anytime, for example, Republicans try to lighten the weight of the lead ball of government we all have to drag around, the Democrats scream, “tax break for the rich!”
It works every time, so well it’s reduced the Republicans to invertebrates. Harnessing the malevolence of envy is a natural for a demagogue like Slick Willie. He knows that the envy he has directed at Gates has more to do than with Gates’ wealth. It’s that Gates treats Washington as an annoying irrelevance — and instead of admiring him for it, many Americans hate him for it because they can’t do the same.
If we are lucky, Gates will ignore the envy and go after Washington’s jugular. It will be a disaster if he doesn’t and succumbs to the Liberal Disease: the fear of being envied. Liberalism isn’t a political ideology at all It’s simply an envy deflection device, a psychological strategy to avoid being envied. Classic examples are Teddy Kennedy and Ted Turner — and you can easily grasp the scope of the disaster I’m talking about by imagining Gates becoming like them.
Pray then, that Gates decides to play real hardball. The DOJ case against Microsoft is of course nonsense. As Gertrude Stein would say, “A browser is a browser is a browser.” IE.4 allows you to seamlessly browse through Web sites and spreadsheets, files, or any other application on your hard drive simultaneously. Bundling it with Windows is a great idea, and instead MS is being prosecuted for it! The utter absurdity of the case is even more clear when you realize that the bundling in no way prevents you from using some other browser like Netscape’s.
So far, Gates has fought Reno in court (unfortunately only on the case’s merits, and not challenging the constitutionality of all federal anti-trust law). But what if he decided to up the ante? What I would like to see is a senior MS VP, let’s call him Bill “Duke” Nukem, pay Reno a visit and the conversation go like this:
Nukem: Thank you for taking the time to see me, Ms. Reno. I’m here to encourage you to drop your action against us.
Reno: How would you do that?
Nukem: Microsoft is prepared to move offshore to a friendlier jurisdiction. Vancouver is a pretty place, a short drive from Seattle, and the BC government would welcome us with open arms. There are many other jurisdictions we could choose from.
Reno (spilling her coffee): Surely you’re joking.
Nukem (takes a whiff): Porfidio is my favorite tequila too — although I don’t order it by the case as you do. Let me explain reality to you, Ms. Reno. Microsoft is a sovereign entity, and we demand you treat us as such, as do other countries. A few weeks ago, President Ramos of the Philippines flew to Seattle, where he accepted an amnesty from Bill Gates, who forgave the illegal copying of millions of dollars of Microsoft software by various government agencies in the Philippines, in exchange for Ramos’ vigorously enforcing Microsoft’s intellectual property rights in the Philippines. Now doesn’t that sound like a treaty between sovereign nations to you, Ms. Reno? We will negotiate with you in the same manner.
Reno: And if we don’t?
Nukem: Then very unpleasant things could happen to your government’s entire computer network. We have far more computing power, knowledge, and talent than you do, surely you know that. You leave us alone, we leave you alone; if not, we don’t. Deal or no deal?
Reno: I’ll have to check with my boss.
Nukem: Fine. Just remember he’s your boss, not ours. You should let him know that you picked the wrong Bill to go after. By the way, how’s your friend Bulleta?
Pray that Gates has the cajones to do this. If he loses or capitulates, envy wins and the government’s power and arrogance expands over us all. If he wins, showing that the government can be ignored and forced to back down, others will follow his lead. And then maybe Reno will finally have to target the right Bill.