GLOBAL WARMING COMES TO AMERICA
Soon children will have forgotten what snow looks like…
See that white stuff floating down past the orange trees and landing on your alligators and manatees, Florida? That’s global warming, that is.
See that frozen white thing by the harbor that used to look like a green woman with a spiky headdress, New York? That’s global warming, that is.
See that chilling solid yellow stream extending upwards from the snowy ground to your shriveling blackened member after you made the very wrong call to take an al fresco leak, Chicagoans? That’s global warming, that is.
How do we know this? Because Bryan Walsh of Time magazine says so:
But not only does the cold spell not disprove climate change, it may well be that global warming could be making the occasional bout of extreme cold weather in the U.S. even more likely. Right now much of the U.S. is in the grip of a polar vortex, which is pretty much what it sounds like: a whirlwind of extremely cold, extremely dense air that forms near the poles. Usually the fast winds in the vortex-which can top 100 mph -keep that cold air locked up in the Arctic.
But when the winds weaken, the vortex can begin to wobble like a drunk on his fourth martini, and the Arctic air can escape and spill southward, bringing Arctic weather with it. In this case, nearly the entire polar vortex has tumbled southward, leading to record-breaking cold….
And, of course, so does the Guardian say so….
While the ongoing cold snap is breaking records from Minnesota to Florida, it will not go down in history as the most significant Arctic outbreak in U.S. history, not even by a longshot. Scientists said the deep freeze gripping the U.S. does not indicate a halt or reversal in global warming trends, either. In fact, it may be a counterintuitive example of global warming in action.
Everything’s global warming, America. Didn’t you get the message yet from your President Zero (or is that President Zero Degrees now, TTPers?) and John Kerry and Al Gore and James Hansen, the whole GloWarm Gang? Everything!
That’s why, if ever any of you want to see a day of sunshine again in your miserable, too-selfish-to-change-your-lifestyle carbon-addicted lives, here are a few things you absolutely are going to have to do:
*Permanently reject the Keystone XL pipeline;
*Beg your president for more green taxes and regulations;
*Plead for more of your money to be diverted to successful clean energy businesses like Solyndra and Fisker electric cars;
*Insist that more bald eagle nesting trees be chopped down in order to clear a space for wind farms;
*Demand that the Heartland Institute and the Competitive Enterprise Institute be defunded and that Marc Morano, Anthony Watts and Pat Michaels be executed.
Oh, and definitely torch the premises of evil, right-wing conspirator-publisher Regnery for producing filth like this terrible book which suggests the caring, nurturing environmental movement has dangerously fascistic tendencies….
Alternatively, if you want to go on deluding yourself that the current cold snap in the US is what’s known as "winter" and has nothing whatsoever to do with man-made climate change then you might draw some comfort from these words from Princeton physicist Prof William Happer.
Polar vortices have been around forever. They have almost nothing to do with more CO2 in the atmosphere.
Not just that – but without polar vortices, America might look a very different country today, possibly with many times more CCTV cameras, much poorer dental care, and with cricket as its national summer sport instead of baseball. Prof. Happer:
About this time of year in 1777, just before the Battle of Princeton, there was a similar sequence. On January 2, Cornwallis’s men marched south from New York City through cold rain and muddy roads to try to trap George Washington and his little Continental Army in Trenton . On the night of January 2-3, a polar vortex swept across New Jersey, with snow and a very hard freeze.
Aided by the extremely cold weather, Washington was able to evacuate his troops and artillery over newly frozen roads and to avoid Cornwallis’s encirclement. Reaching Princeton on the viciously cold morning of January 3, Washington won another battle against the British and escaped to winter quarters in Morristown. Thank you polar vortex!
And here’s what meteorologist Dr Ryan Maue says on Twitter:
This #polarvortex episode is the global warming media’s most recent "Snapchat" message: after a few seconds, explanation just dissolves
Does Global Warming Theory Predict Record Cold?
That’s the one word you need from now on whenever you may be confronted by some Fascist Warmist Wacko .
British writer James Delingpole is the author of such "fantastically entertaining" books as 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, and Welcome To Obamaland: I’ve Seen Your Future And It Doesn’t Work.