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OK, I’ve taken off the black hat I wore to write “The 279 Trigger” and I’m back to normal now. So forgive me if I poach a title from an article I wrote last February, but Shut Down is still the best way to describe my electoral predictions for next Tuesday.

So step right up and get ‘em, folks, while they’re hot. Bottom line: Bush wins not in a landslide, but not close either – a comfortable victory garnering 52-53% of the total vote, and between 290-310 electoral votes.

Let’s face it -when Bush might take Hawaii, you know Kerry is in deep scatology.

Kerry takes the Left Coast, of course, and the North-Eastern Seaboard that Barry Goldwater once suggested be sawn off from America and left to float out to sea. That (California, Oregon, Washington, all of New England even throwing in New Hampshire, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware, and DC), plus Illinois and Michigan, brings him to 228.

The reason Bush has a shot at Hawaii is that the most corrupt state party machine in the nation, Hawaii’s Democrats, don’t run the government anymore with Republican Linda Lingle as Governor. So they can’t rig the vote as they have for decades. Maybe they still can anyway, but the odds are just as good that GW will take New Hampshire, and since both have 4 EV’s, let’s call this a wash.

There are 538 EV’s total so 50%+1 – 270 – wins. 538 less 228 gives GW 310. Yes, he will take Ohio. The 6th Circuit’s decision that provisional ballots must be cast in the voter’s registered precinct dramatically cuts Dem cheating. The state constitutional amendment to ban homosexual “marriage” is on the ballot, which will pass by over 70%, and not a lot of those votes are going for Kerry. Plus – Arnold will be in Columbus telling Ohioans to terminate Lurch.

Bush will sail away with Wisconsin and Iowa, and probably Minnesota. Colorado and Nevada are in the bag along with the rest of the West, except for New Mexico, where Democrat Governor Bill Richardson has been busy registering more folks on Indian Reservations than there are Indians in India.

GW will stuff the entire South, including Arkansas, into his electoral sack. Which brings us to Florida. 300 million years ago, Florida broke away from the supercontinent of Gondwana and joined North America (known to geologists as ancient Laurentia). It has stuck there ever since, and it is going to remain American on November 2.

This despite the grossest attempt at voter fraud in US history. Never before in over two centuries of our country’s existence has there ever been such a comprehensive, wholesale, nation-wide effort at election cheating as the Democrats are perpetrating right now. On the other hand, never before have the Republicans mounted such a concerted state-by-state effort to prevent voter fraud either.

They will not be able to prevent it in places like Pennsylvania, where DemGov Ed Rendell runs the corrupt show – so PA goes Kerry. But they should be able to in Ohio and Florida.

Perhaps you are not at all reassured by this. Perhaps you have recalculated a bit, giving Kerry Minnesota (10), New Mexico (5), Hawaii (4), and Arkansas (6) which seems close. That still gets him to only 253. Ah, you say, Florida’s 27 puts him over the top at 280.

Yes, but for this to happen, everything – everything – has to break Kerry’s way, and the opposite is occurring. So far – and that’s a very big so far, as the five days between my writing this and next Tuesday could be the longest five days of our lives – GW is in Momentum City while Hanoi John is in Desperation City, also known as Al Qaqaagate (could there be a better name for a scandal than this?).

As long as I’m pretending to have a crystal ball, I might as well call the Senate also. I see the Dems picking up three seats: in Alaska, Knowles over the governor’s daughter Murkowski; Illinois, Obama over the doomed effort of Keyes; and Colorado, Salazar over Coors. I see the GOP holding its Oklahoma seat, Coburn over Carson, and picking up six: Georgia, Isakson over Majette; Louisiana (Vittner, but he may need a runoff); South Carolina, DeMint over Tenebaum; North Carolina, Burr over Bowles; Florida, Martinez over Castor; and yes, Thune over Daschle in South Dakota (all those stuffed ballot boxes on the Pine Ridge Reservation won’t carry it for Tommy this time).

This results in a Republican net gain of three seats in the Senate for a 54-46 majority, with no Daschle to organize the blocking of all the bills passed by the House. As for the House, I see a net gain of around seven seats, increasing the Republican majority there to about 236-199.

Throw in Chief Justice Rehnquist’s throat cancer at age 80, and you can see how these prospects are driving the Democrats over the cliff of sanity. Looming in front of them is a total shut out from power – and that’s what they live for. That’s what they live on.

As John Fund at the Wall Street Journal once told me, “If Republicans are out of government, they just go back to work at their normal businesses and jobs in the private sector – if Democrats are out of government, they are out of a job, period, and are hard pressed to find a way to feed themselves.”

Being locked out of the White House, the Senate, the House, and the next several Supreme Court appointments is the nightmare that is causing the Dems to go Barking Moonbat Mad. But no sympathy. They have brought it on themselves. How many of them to this day regret not nominating a Democrat of decency like Joe Lieberman?

Yes, the Dems have tens of thousands of thugs committing voter fraud and intimidating people at poll sites, tens of thousands of lawyers attempting to challenge voters’ decisions in every way imaginable. Yes, we may have a presidential election taking weeks to decide and decided not by voters but by courts. Yet I don’t think so.

On the morning of November 3rd, I think the Democrats are going to wake up shut out and shut down, while we are going to be singing the lyrics of the Beach Boys’ ode to street-racing:

Tach it up, tach it up, buddy gonna shut you down..

It happened on the strip where the road is wide
Two cool shorts standin’ side by side
My fuel-injected Sting Ray and a Four-Thirteen
We’re revvin’ up our engines and it sounds real mean
Tach it up, tach it up, buddy gonna shut you down

Declining numbers at an even rate
At the count of one we both accelerate
My Sting Ray’s light, the slicks are startin’ to spin
But the Four-Thirteen’s really digging in

Gotta be cool now — power shift, here it goes…

Well, the Superstock Dodge is windin’ out in low
But my fuel-injected Sting-Ray’s really startin’ to go
To get the traction I’m ridin’ the clutch
The pressure plate’s burnin’ — this machine’s too much

Pedal’s to the floor, hear his two quads quake
Now the Four-Thirteen’s lead is startin’ to break
He’s hot with ram-induction but it’s understood
I got a fuel-injected engine sittin’ under my hood

Shut it off, shut it off — buddy now I shut you down
Shut it off, shut it off — buddy now I shut you down

Shut it off, Kerryistas – GW’s shut you down.